All summer long 50 Shades of Grey has been the topic of articles, posts, tweets, church sermons, and arguments between friends. It is supposed to be incredibly hot and sexy; a must read according to some.
But the question that begs to be asked is this. Why do women find it so sexy and titillating? The romance is between an insecure woman and an emotionally manipulative man. The relationship grows from manipulative to abusive as the story develops and includes a moderate amount of BDSM.
You will probably be a little shocked to hear that I am fine with the BDSM Ã¢â‚¬â€œ the characters are both adults. What I am not fine with is the extent of abusive, emotional manipulation which, to me, is much more dangerous.
I get that the BDSM is sort of sexy to a Mid-America, used to be a cheerleader, two kids and a picket fence mom. It is so unusual Ã¢â‚¬â€œ naughty even. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the stuff you only whispered about if you knew about it at all.
The forbidden, the dark parts of society are always tempting. Tell someone they shouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t or canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t and you bet they will want to. That part started with Eve.
The issue comes in with the emotional manipulation and abuse. That is something that occurs in so many relationships that most people donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t even recognize it until they are a shadow of whom and what they once were.
Grey dominates Ana to the point that he tells her how much she can work out at the gym and when she will see him. He controls the time she has with him, using it as a reward for lack of better term. He keeps her off balance and therefore dependent.
There are few, if any, romantic scenes in the book. Plain old sex is rare. The focus is on the abusive relationship that Ana had become embroiled in. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t find abuse sexy Ã¢â‚¬â€œ and it scares me that teen-age girls who sneak copies of the book from their momÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s bedside table may be encouraged to believe that abuse equals love and passion.
photo credit: o5com