What do you do if you can’t stand your best friend’s husband or boyfriend? Many of us have had this situation come up at some point in our lives, whether it was disliking your high school bestie’s meathead boyfriend, or in college when your BFF’s lover was some brooding, pretentious artistic type who lost his mind the minute he left home.
Or maybe it was the domineering, Christian Grey type guy your roommate was dating who seemed to be disrespecting her at every turn and all you could do was watch idly because she was “in love,†in all her breath hitching glory.
Or maybe it’s now, she’s your best mom friend in the world and you love one another’s company, the children get along infamously but she just happens to be married to an award winning butthead
Well, there’s not too much you can do but try to talk her out of such a bad choice, but then you run the risk of ending up on the outs with your bestie. So this is what you can do when you cannot stand your best friend’s choice in men.
Avoid him. Do things with her on your own and try no to get too upset when she blows you off for him. It will happen, just love her, be a good friend and realize that she is under the spell of love.
Be supportive of her when she is upset and complaining about what an absolute douche canoe he is being. Just listen. Shake your head, give her a hug and say it will be okay, but do NOT bad mouth him. She already knows in her heart that he’s a jerk. You telling her will only make her defensive.
Be understanding. Though it may infuriate you that he is not your cup of tea and you can’t see what your BFF sees in him, that is not your decision. As long as he is not abusing her, there is no law against being an A-hole. Though, I am fairly sure that there should be. Trust that your friend loves him and for her to do so, he must have some redeeming qualities worth loving.
In the end, it’s about loving your friend and enjoying the time you are in one another’s company. She will be appreciative of your support. Eventually, your friend will see him for who he really is if he truly is not good for her.
How do you deal with a friend’s spouse whom you are not particularly fond of?
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