Tips for First Time Flyers
This past week, I went on my first flight ever. I won’t lie I was definitely filled with trepidation.
I kept thinking that maybe I’d I get up there and realize that I am a raging claustrophobic. I was seriously freaked out about that.
I knew, well, I was pretty sure that I am not afraid of heights. I never have been before, and I’m not particularly afraid of dying. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want to die any time soon, but I don’t dwell on it.
I spend a lot more time dwelling on missing things my daughters might do without me if something bad we’re to happen to me, you know, like my untimely demise.
I made a commitment; I promised a friend that I’d attend this event in her place. I didn’t even consider the fact that I’d have to get into a plane a soar high above the clouds for the first time ever.
Then my 5-year-old begged me not to go, complete with hysterical crying. I really began to think that maybe she had some kind of sixth sense. Maybe she knew something that I didn’t.
Damn, you know the theory that kids can see dead people. I didn’t want her predicting my untimely demise. I was scared. She cried a lot.
First I boarded the words smallest flying bus. I believe they call them puddle jumpers. I call them a really janky flying bus. They should make cartoons about this shit.
If I were going to go full on mental, it would have certainly happened there. It was noisy and bumpy and exhilarating and I couldn’t get enough of the clouds.
I was terrified of being claustrophobic when in reality it was the most liberating thing that I have ever experienced.
Aside from leaving behind the Big Guy and the girls, I could do this for a living. I want to fly everywhere; the grocery store, my moms house, and all over the entire world. I have a thirst for adventure, a love of clouds and I will travel.
But, if like me, you are a 40-year-old virgin, here are a few tips that I can offer when flying for the first time:
Get there early because the bigger the airport, the busier the security check and the longer distances between gates.
Be prepared to remove your clothing during TSA check. No, you won’t get full on naked (unless you special request a full body search) but if you are wearing an open sweater over a tiny tank top in January, you have no one to blame but yourself when you are standing there with your nipples blinding the TSA agents as you put all of your “stuff” in a bin to be scanned.
Bring chewing gum (it helps with ear popping).
Be prepared to sit close to your seatmate. Unless you are in first class, your seat will be fairly small; think the size of a folding chair. Try not to encroach on your neighbor. People get nervous flying and need their space.
Buy a giant bottle of water before you board the plane; if you are the least bit nervous, your mouth will be dry as the Sahara.
Bring headphones or earplugs; it is noisy on planes and if things that creak and rattle scare you, pop those headphones in before take off.
If you are afraid of heights, I suggest not getting a window seat and either watching a movie or reading a book. Me, I am a freak who loves to soar high in the clouds and watch out the window the entire time.
The aisles are narrow in an airplane, so if you have a big full carry on, expect dirty looks. I learned this the hard way. But an, “I’m sorry” and an eyelash bat and a smile help make it a little easier to get away with.
Go to the bathroom before the fasten seat belt lights come on to signal descent. The stewardesses will let you go if you threaten to piss yourself, but they won’t be happy about it.
Don’t drink too many fluids on the plane right before landing or you may have to hold it until you get off the plane. If you have limited time between connections, it won’t bode well for you.
If you are nervous at all, go to your doctor ahead of time and express your fears and anxieties, and they can probably prescribe you something to help take the edge off.
Others have suggested a cocktail before takeoff. But don’t mix prescription anti-anxiety meds and cocktails or you may very well sleep through your connections or overdose. Either way, don’t do it.
Enjoy it. I have never seen anything so beautiful as the sky from above the clouds and there is nothing quite as exhilarating as taking off for an adventure.
Photo Source: The TRUTH about Motherhood