The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby’s First Year
Remember that moment that you held your first newborn baby? Remember all of that overwhelming love and gratitude you felt? You were holding a miracle and if your life were a book or a movie, it would have ended there with “and they lived happily ever after.”
But it’s not true. That’s why the book or movie ends there because the real thing is messy, complicated and doesn’t always feel like a miracle, not even 50% of the time. Mostly it feels like misery peppered with moments of profound bliss, but let’s be honest, no one wants to read that book so no one writes it. But finally, someone did: Dawn Dais in her hilarious book, The Sh!t No One Tells You: A 52-week Guide to Surviving Your Baby ‘s First Year.
No book and no amount of personal advice can fully prepare a woman for pregnancy, birthing and the first year of a child’s life. I know nothing prepared me for the reality of becoming a mother. There is some sort of unwritten rule that moms feel they need to edit their version of motherhood for every other mother in the world, as if we aren’t all going through the same thing, but the truth will set you free ladies.
There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly baby and notices that she herself is covered in bodily fluids and hasn’t shaved her legs in 2 weeks, and wishing someone had told her that her house would smell of vomit and poop. Wondering why the hell no one told her that she might cry more than the baby and never get to sleep for longer than 2-hour increments for the rest of her life.
Best-selling humor author Dawn Dais, mother to a one-year-old, is convinced that this is done on purpose and I am inclined to agree. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from naive expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals or pass on procreation all together.
She uses the intimate details of her own birth story and stories from other mothers with small children to bring the reality of an event that really “changes everything” to the light. She offers insight to the completely overwhelming role of motherhood – giving birth without drugs, the very real possibility of pooping on the table, and just which stuff you really need to keep your baby alive and healthy versus the crap they will try to sell you at the store.
In The Sh!t No One Tells You, Dais tells it like it is, revealing what it’s really like to be a new mom without the veil of secrecy that usually cloaks stories of the beauty of motherhood. It’s not beautiful; it’s ugly from the start but wonderful, like the ugly cry we do when we overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude.
If you enjoyed the ScaryMommy books you will enjoy this brand of humor and lighthearted, honest look at the misery and bliss that is motherhood.
Photo Source: Amazon