Tattling – Should You Tell Your BFF?

by Marye Audet on August 3, 2012

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You are out to dinner at a nice restaurant with your significant other, and things are getting pretty cozy when all of a sudden you see a man that looks very familiar come in with a gorgeous blond. You try to refocus on the conversation and try to get those romantic stirrings moving again by looking at your date and saying something flirty but your eyes keep wandering to the couple.

It’s your best friend’s husband and he is obviously not at a business dinner.

How would you handle it?

Those on the “I wouldn’t tell” side believe that staying out of it will stave off hurt and betrayal. They don’t want to tell and risk being the one to cause devastation in the life of someone they love. The problem is that when she hears from someone else and finds out you knew all along you can probably kiss that friendship goodbye.

Those on the “I would be on the cell phone before the salad came” side feel that it’s better to hear it from a friend than find out later. This is a crap-shoot, too. You friend may allow her love to convince her that you are lying because you don’t like him.

Personally? I’d be on the phone before they had a chance to open the menu. I would probably blurt something out like, “Hey, your husband is at this restaurant with a woman – is it legit?”

I would then proceed to walk over to the table and create a scene he would not soon forget, ending in me being banned from the restaurant. Please note that I have never been praised for my extreme amount of tact or self-restraint.

How would you handle it and why?

photo credit: mrhayata

  • http://32in32.com/ Pauline Hawkins

    I would tell my friend as well. If it’s an innocent dinner, no harm done. If I am close with the husband, I would go over there as well just so he knew I saw him and that he had some ‘splainin’ to do!

  • http://mommeetsblog.wordpress.com/ Mom Meets Blog

    I would first take photos on my iPhone, then let the errant hubby know that I know (maybe not make a scene if I like the restaurant) and then let my friend know. . .

  • GLD

    Id like to think I would quietly approach him, check his reaction, give him the opportunity to explain in private, if in fact he is in the wrong, give him the opportunity to own up to his wife, or I will. Over reacting and fliiping out will cause yourself and maybe your friend embarassment, and might not have the right effect on him.

  • marye

    What would the right effect be? I am a little passionate about this having been in a relationship where there were several infidelities over the years. I think I would feel very disciplined if he left my line of site still able to walk…

  • marye

    You must be my long lost twin…

  • marye

    That is probably the best thing. It is better if you do know the husband, for sure.

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