One of the biggest mistakes couples make is not prioritizing their marriage; they prioritize their lives and their kids, but not their relationship with their partner. It’s so easy to get bogged down with daily life and all the distractions of managing your family’s activities that your marriage can truly suffer.
Here are some simple things you can do to bring the romance back to your relationship and capture that intimacy you felt when your love was new according to Elizabeth Lombardo, psychologist and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.
Make time to spend time together. Too often we hear experts say: family comes first and kids come first, and they do a lot of the time, but if you don’t make time to connect with your spouse, there will be no marriage for your children to enjoy.
We all want to be great parents and one the very best ways to do that is by being a strong unit, couple and team.
We know how good date nights are for our relationships, but it is important to remember that they don’t have to be grandiose or expensive. Just sitting together and talking over a glass of wine or cup of coffee after the kids have gone to bed could be considered a “date.” Emotional intimacy is just as important (and fun) as physical intimacy.
Connect throughout the day. Reaching out to your spouse lets them know you are thinking about them. Several simple text messages sent throughout the day that say; I love you, how are you, or ask about work let your spouse know you love them and that they are top of mind.
According to psychologist Jeff Gardere, “The number one complaint I hear from my patients is form the women who say, men just don’t text enough.”
Remember what it feels like to have fun together again by doing something you both enjoy. Taking a walk, cooking a meal, reading the same book at the same time and having a lively discussion about it, or signing up for a class are all wonderful ways to reconnect and have fun.
Always assume the best in each other. When we get overwhelmed and stressed out, we tend to point out the negative characteristics in our spouse; it’s human nature. Instead, we should be looking for the positive traits, the things that make us happy.
Every day, try writing down one thing that you appreciate about your spouse and at the end of the week share your list with your spouse. Make your relationship strength based rather than deficient based. Counting our blessings will help provide positive reinforcement and reward and keep those good things going.
Every marriage has its ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Sometimes you feel closer, and other times you are more distant. But if you just want to revitalize your relationship and develop more intimacy, it is possible. It just requires a little thought, time and attention.
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