Oh Chick-Fil-A, you delicious bastard! Why have you forsaken me? Iâ€™ve loved you since I first discovered your amazing sweet tea when I lived in North Carolina in my 20â€™s. My family has enjoyed many a family night at your establishment right around the corner from our house.
Little did I know that if one of our children were known to be gay you would have refused her one of those adorable little balloon crowns. Le sigh.Â
I should have known something was wrong when you were closed every Sunday. I just thought you were an establishment of integrity and family values. I thought it was charming that you were closed on Sundays so that your employees could go to church and spend their day resting, the way God intended.
Now, I know that you are bigots and we canâ€™t get that cat back in the bag, no matter how much you or your PR team try to backpedal out of this PR nightmare. Run, Forest, run.
As if itâ€™s not embarrassing enough that your COO, Dan Cathy, volunteered the information that he was indeed, â€œGuilty as chargedâ€ when asked if he was opposed to gay marriage. I know everyone is entitled to their own beliefs but honestly, if you knew your answer was going to be PR suicide, why not plead the fifth?
Maybe respond with, â€œChicken has nothing to do with gay marriage rights so I donâ€™t feel comfortable discussing that topic.â€ Better to keep quiet and be assumed a fool than to speak and eliminate all doubt. Didnâ€™t your mama teach you that?
Itâ€™s a strange coincidence that Chiak-Fil-A decided to stop carrying Jim Henson toys in their kidâ€™s meals on the exact same day that the Jim Henson Company decided to pull their toys from Chick-Fil-A restaurants. Itâ€™s a case of chicken and egg, I suppose.
Either way, I think itâ€™s safe to say that Kermit and Miss Piggie and the gang are happy to be off that sinking ship. Well, maybe not Miss. Piggie. I am sure that she will miss your delicious deep fried chicken sandwiches, just like the rest of us.
But this latest tactic with the 8-hour old Facebook account held by â€œAbbey Farleâ€, a supposedly very religious teen, coming to the rescue of a national restaurant chain fighting commenters who dare sully your good name is truly unbelievable.
She is quoting Bible verses and using language like â€œDerrâ€(Is that German for â€œWe donâ€™t approve of gay marriage?â€). This may have fooled someone back in the 80â€™s when derr was actually still used in teen lingo. That alone makes me suspect that your great white hope, Abbey Farle, is really closer to being a 45-year-old man than 17-year-old girl.
Anyways, well played Chick-Fil-A and you may have gotten away with it too if it werenâ€™t for two small details, the photo associated with the account is a free stock photo and secondly, we are not all idiots.
Most people in social media can probably run circles around your PR people; after all, while weâ€™re all surfing the net on Sundays your people are taking the day off to fight against gay marriage rights.
Will you continue to patronize Chick-Fil-A after knowing their COO openly opposes gay marriage?
Photo Source: J.Reed