Last week the Hollywood gossip mill claimed that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon had been living apart for months and that their marriage was heading toward divorce. The fact that they are living apart is a fact. That they are divorcing is another fact. The why behind that is where the rumors swirl.
According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Mariah allegedly suspected him of cheating and even hired security guards “to make sure he stayed away from other women during club appearances.” If that is true, that’s no way to make sure your husband stays faithful because it is forced. Some rumors even bring Kim Kardashian into the mix as the reason for the break up.
I admit I’m a Nick Cannon fan. I think he is one of the best talent show hosts out there, if not the best. He brings his comedic talent to the stage and makes the perfect connection between contestants, judges, and those of us watching America’s Got Talent from home.
When I learned he was married to Mariah Carey, I was a bit surprised because their personalities are so opposite, but then opposites attract, right?
According to recent reports, Nick is the one who is deciding to call it quits and believes the decision is best for his family because in his view Mariah’s mental state isn’t healthy for his family. He fears the environment generated around his soon-to-be-ex is toxic for his kids.
The way he describes it is as a chaotic living situation. He claims Mariah’s people’s primary concern is making money. Considering she’s made a living as a diva with a great voice, I could see how “her people” might think the biological clock is ticking on her career as she approaches 50.
Nick says his goal in leaving the marriage is to create a safe haven for his kids that is separate from the chaotic home environment with Mariah. He believes the kids have already shown signs of emotional upset with the current situation and he wants to change that.
As with any divorce, there are two sides to the story and they are the only ones who really know the whole story. Mariah is 44, Nick is 33, and their twins are 3.
Photo credits: Thorston Heil
Today’s link round-up has a crayon wreath, a frittata, kids’ party beverages, and more.
The Tiptoe Fairy showed us how to grill an entire meal from beginning to end to avoid heating up the kitchen too much for the summer temperatures.
Create Craft Love shared a how-to for making a mini crayon wreath.
Allure shared textured hair styling mistakes.
Pink When showed us how to make a cute DIY cardboard roll desk caddy.
A Beautiful Mess shared a summer frittata recipe.
Spaceships and Laser Beams gave us some ideas for kids’ party beverages.
A Pair and a Spare pointed out that you can turn a bikini into a “bra-kini” for less annoying tan lines.
Photo credit: The Tiptoe Fairy and Pink When
One of my goals is to make time for the important stuff. I’m going to do it, too — just as soon as I can figure out what’s important.
It seems to me that everything is important. I have to work and make my deadlines or bills go unpaid. I have to (want to) spend time with my family or they will grow up to be weirdly twisted individuals. I have to clean or we live in a pig sty. I have to cook because we have to eat… and it goes on.
I read all of these articles in January about how to prioritize, make time for the important stuff, and live a more balanced life but in the end, they always leave me wondering how to go about it.
I don’t know if you can identify but in my life it’s all a priority. What they don’t seem to tell you how to do is to decide which things you can let go of. You have to realize that you’re going to have to let go of something, right?
Right now the bottom thing on my list is cleaning. You do not want to see what my house looks like. It is embarrassing but something has to go. As soon as I can afford a housekeeper I’ll get one. Until then?
I have short people carry cell phones in case they get lost in the debris.
How do you decide what to let go of so that you can do the most important things on your list?
In marriage it’s the little things that make the difference between a successful marriage and one where the couple grows apart. I mean simple little things like saying please and thank you, not making rude noises like an adolescent and then laughing like a hyena about it, and doing things like wearing deodorant and brushing your teeth.
Seriously, little things.
It seems like the longer a couple is married, the more prone they are to letting it all hang out and losing their sense of propriety. They do things that they wouldn’t dream of doing in public or in front of others. Here’s my short list of the minimum things that really do make the difference.
Don’t ever stop saying these two magic words. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and, oddly enough, those two words will help you not to take each other for granted.
Touch is an important way to maintain your relationship. A hug, a quick kiss, holding hands, or a back rub are all great ways to show that you care about your spouse.
Every week for the past four and some odd years my husband has given me a dozen roses. I love flowers and when he goes that extra mile I know he cares about what makes me happy. At the same time, I bring him breakfast in bed as often as I can. He is diabetic and getting food in his stomach first thing keeps his day going great.
What are some things you do to make sure your spouse knows that you care?
In first marriages the bonding is relatively easy. I mean, you have hours of couple time with no interruptions.
It’s a little trickier in second marriages when there are kids involved. Then you more or less end up sneaking around like sixteen year olds or enduring interruption after interruption like you had a new baby in the next room. Finding time to build your intimacy is nearly impossible — it’s bad enough trying to figure out a way to fit in a quickie.
My ex is now remarried and I have been accused of being upset about it. I promise you I am not. I am jealous. I am jealous because they have had several years to bond and become intimate without the added complication of kids in the house.
We, on the other hand, have built our marriage in the midst of six kids, four dogs, and two cats. It’s the difference between an elegant French restaurant and Chuckie Cheese.
Mom, why is your door locked?
Geez, you guys. The walls in this house are thin. Ewww!
What’s for breakfast?
Hey! I need to ask you something!
Bonding as a couple when you have kids, especially when you are in a blended family type situation, is tricky but it can be done. You have to save an hour or so a day and make it couple time. Not necessarily sex time, mind you. Time to spend time with each other as adults, time to spend not talking about the kids, and time to drop the parenting roles and be in love.
We go out to eat pretty often because getting away is the easiest for us. Still, just shutting the door, telling the kids to give us some time, and just talking is actually my favorite.
So, do you have a way to work on your relationship in spite of the kids?
I think Jennifer Aniston’s reproductive life is one of the most scrutinized in the media. I don’t think I could count the number of times I’ve seen headlines announcing she is pregnant. And yet, at this time she has never had a child.
Back when she and Brad Pitt broke up some rumors suggested it was because he wanted children and she didn’t. Yet other rumors said, she was unable to get pregnant. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have so many people second guessing such a private part of life. She admitted in a recent interview on Good Morning America that the “kids question” is the one she finds most annoying.
Pregnancy rumors have been flying again recently because the actress is looking a little curvier than usual, and I don’t mean fat at all. She admits she’s gained a few pounds, and now that she’s 45 it’s not as easy to lose weight as it used to be. I can certainly relate to that.
Jennifer is 5′ 5″ and she is usually comfortable weighing between 110-113. I’m only 5′ 1″ and I’d be comfortable weighing that, but unfortunately I haven’t seen numbers like that for more than a decade.
Personally, for her height I think her curviness looks great and could be a sign that she is in a happy relationship and satisfied with life. While she is not overweight she has said if she was being super picky she’d like to lose 5 pounds.
All the speculation about her life must be hard. For the most part she is a healthy eater, and she is not falling prey to the unrealistic pressure of trying to remain ageless like so many others in her profession. She is engaged to 42-year-old Justin Theroux and looks relaxed and happy.
I suggest instead of guessing about whether or not she ran off to get married on the sly, or is expecting a baby, that we let her experience the joy of making the announcement when the time comes.
Photo credits: Hollywood Scoop TV
Today’s link round-up has a delicious salad recipe, a cookie dough protein shake, tips for sending condolences, back to school organization tips, and more.
Chocolate Covered Katie shared a recipe for a cookie dough protein shake.
Mind Body Green shared a recipe for a simple pH balancing alkaline salad.
A Beautiful Mess gathered some Chemex coffee brewing tips.
Fynes Designs showed us how to use fabric paint.
Cupcakes and Cashmere shared tips for sending condolences.
Written Reality gave us some organizational tips for getting kids ready to go back to school.
Find It Make It Love It refinished a piano bench and it looks beautiful.
Photo credit: Chocolate Covered Katie and Fynes Designs
One of the problems with celebrity life is that the media often jumps in with conjecture based on rumor. It’s enough to make me think I’d never want to be a celebrity.
Now rumors are floating about that Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are headed for divorce. What makes it worse is the fact that de Rossi may have been covertly taping the couple’s fights.
I don’t know about you, but I sure would hate to think some of my most private moments, including fights, could be plastered across the tabloids and social media. According to In Touch, de Rossi taped the violent fights with a plan to exploit Ellen if they should ever break up.
In her defense, who would believe Ellen capable of a violent fight? She always seems so understanding and easy to relate to!
“Portia secretly taped some of their fights. She was drunk. Then she threatened to expose Ellen as controlling and manipulating.” — In Touch
According to the same insider source, it seems the fighting is over Portia thinking Ellen had an affair with one of their mutual friends before Portia went into rehab last May.
This isn’t the first time divorce rumors have swirled around the couple, but in the past Ellen was always quick to dispel the speculation. This time, both Portia and Ellen are quiet, which further stirs the speculation pot. Years ago Ellen agreed to go to couples therapy, and has been willing to put work into making the relationship work.
I don’t know the whole story, but I do know that no marriage is happy all the time. However, sticking your head in the sand and pretending there aren’t problems, when there are, doesn’t work either. Strong relationships can survive these types of things, but it takes work.
Only time will tell how all this sorts out.
Photo credits: Domi Carole
Have you ever had a friend or relative put in a good word for you with a potential employer that they worked for? Have you ever been asked to perform a little nepotism on the job? Or worse still, have you ever made the ill-advised decision to go into business with a sibling or best friend?
Bad move unless you have a clear-cut plan in writing to separate business from family.
Business with family is nothing I would ever recommend, it never works out like you planned it. I found this out the hard way and will never do it again because, for me, my relationship with my family is more important than any business deal could ever be.
It ended badly with people feeling cheated and disrespected and there was lots of collateral damage done to feelings. If it’s too late and you are already neck deep in a business arrangement with a family member, here are some ways to separate business from pleasure.
The first thing you need to do is set ground rules. Before you ever go into business with a family member, you should write down a business plan. If you are close enough to be running into each other at family functions, you need to work out a plan to save the relationship, even if the business goes belly up. You don’t want to lose loved ones in a business deal.
There are a few details that need to be hammered out ahead of time before any business ever takes place.
Who is in charge?
I know it is a slippery slope and especially between siblings, but there has to be a clear boss in charge. A clear hierarchy needs to be in place before anything else happens. If not, you may have a lot of hurt feelings based on assumptions. Someone might assume they are in charge because they are the oldest or because they thought of the original business idea.
A boss needs to be named and everyone involved needs to sign off on it in the beginning. No handshake deals among family; it must be in writing, very business like to keep the whole thing professional. People are promoted based on doing something worthy of advancement, not on who’s the oldest or thought of what.
What happens if the business fails?
Decide from the beginning how you will define failure and success of the business and agree on it. Success needs to be defined from the start and people need to know what the give up and go home point is. You don’t want one person willing to jump ship if the company isn’t in the black after 3 months and another who is willing to work to the bone for 3 years.
Decide how disagreements will be handled and decisions will be made.
Sooner or later, there will be a disagreement on some decision about the company. The best way to handle this is to appoint an impartial mediator, who is not a relative, to hand down decisions to avoid resentment. This will help keep all decisions professional and not personal.
Have you ever worked with family? What were some problems that you faced in doing so?
Photo Source: Kamal Zharif