Category: Love & Relationships

Link Round-up: Easy Meals, Halloween Cookies, Spider Earring DIY, and More

Posted on Oct 21, 2014 by No Comments

Today’s link round-up has easy meals, cute Halloween cookies, spider earrings, and more.

Muslin and Merlot showed us how to make PVC napkin rings.

Mind Body Green shared six one-pan meals to make this week.

Hungry Happenings made some cute backside black cat cookies and shared the recipe.

link ru pumpkin mac and cheese

Chocolate Covered Katie shared a recipe for pumpkin mac and cheese.

Jewelry Making Journal taught us how to make creepy crawly spider earrings.

Life a Little Brighter asked, “Are you stressing your kid out?”

Play Dates on Fridays shared five excuses for mean girls that have got to go.

Photo credit: Muslin and Merlot and Chocolate Covered Katie

Stuff I Miss about Being a Stay at Home Mom

Posted on Oct 21, 2014 by No Comments

For decades I was a stay at home mom. I homeschooled, I cleaned, I cooked, I did laundry, and, in keeping with my Little House on the Prairie fantasies, I even fed chickens and milked goats.

When life changed abruptly, then in a very short period of time changed abruptly twice more, I was thrown into a chaotic life which required that I give up Green Acres to be Murphy Brown. If you are too young for all of the TV references you can Google them.

Some days are better than others. I do like what I do for a living, I enjoy the blessings and opportunities that my new life has afforded me. Still, once in awhile (every day) there are a few moments when I really miss being a stay at home mom.

  1. Call me crazy but I miss doing my laundry on a scheduled, organized basis. I miss hanging it on the line and the fresh scent of the sheets. I still have to do laundry but it is rushed, disorganized, and I don’t always get it folded soon enough to prevent wrinkles. There is no longer a clothesline at my house.
  2. Breakfast. With the kids in regular school, husband working again, and my own schedule leisurely, sit-down breakfasts are rare. I miss fixing French toast, pancakes and all the other yummy breakfast stuff.
  3. Lack of Deadlines. If you don’t get to the vacuuming one day you can always do it the next. Miss a client deadline and you’re in trouble!
  4. Cleaning. See the first thing on the list.
  5. Extended amounts of time just sitting with the kids. I work at home but I am often immersed in a project. We get time together but it’s nothing like it used to be.

If you have made the transition from being a stay at home mom to being a gainfully employed mom what do you miss most?

photo credit: Monkey Mash Button via photopin cc

Blame Social Media for Your Break-Up

Posted on Oct 17, 2014 by No Comments

According to new research, social media plays a big part in ruined relationships. A study, authored by Russsel Clayton of the University of Missouri, surveyed 581 Twitter users and found that Twitter causes conflict in a relationship, infidelity, and even divorce.

Once again the experts give human-kind an excuse for their behavior. Maybe we should consider banning social media so that people’s relationships can stay intact? 

My first marriage more or less exploded when my ex reconnected with his high school girlfriend on Facebook. They made it sound very romantic in their various Facebook posts and eventual wedding page but when you consider the bare bones facts, it was just another case of infidelity. Nothing special.

Oddly enough I feel no ill will toward Facebook or Twitter and, as a matter of fact, I use both of them regularly. Here’s the shocker, though — in all of the years that I have been using social media I have not once cheated, or even been tempted to cheat!

Can you believe it?

You can blame social media all you want, you can run all kinds of research, but when it comes down to bare bones facts the truth remains obvious. Cheaters gonna cheat.

I just think it’s time that we stopped trying to find excuses for our behavior and just admit that we are human and we screw up royally, make bad choices, and do cruel things just because we can. Deciding that social media is the bad guy here is just another way of not having to deal with the real problem.

Human nature.

photo credit: cletch via photopin cc

Why You Might Want to Have a Take Your Dog to Work Day

Posted on Oct 16, 2014 by No Comments

About three percent of Americans take their dogs to work every day. Let’s hope they aren’t chefs or surgeons.

All kidding aside, apparently there are big benefits to be had from taking your dog to work. Increased morale, increased productivity, happier employees, and improved relationships with employees are all cited as benefits. You may even be able to get him to hold your coffee.

International Journal of Workplace Health Management published a study in 2012 that found having your dog at work reduces stress and boost employee satisfaction. I am guessing that it wouldn’t include employees that didn’t like dogs.

Dogs give people a feeling of security, trust, and help them to relax. I imagine that playing a game of fetch in the middle of  a frustrating project would offer release from stress, as well as a quick break to let your brain rest. I tend to work without stopping for lunch or anything else and I know that I am more productive after a break.

There is even an official Take Your Dog to Work Day on June 20. Personally I take my dogs to work every day… and my cats…and my kids. I don’t think they make a difference to me.

I hate when I am in the middle of an article and one of them decides that he needs to go outside immediately. That breaks my concentration and it’s tough to get my writing mojo back. Anyway, if you want to work for a company that allows you to bring your puppy to work then get your resume dusted off.

Here are a few to start with —

  • Replacements, Ltd.
  • Google
  • Proctor and Gamble Pet Division
  • Ben and Jerry’s
  • Build a Bear
  • Amazon

Do you think taking your dog to work is a good idea?

photo credit: SuperFantastic via photopin cc

Top 4 Lies Wives Tell Their Husbands

Posted on Oct 15, 2014 by No Comments

I don’t know about you but, for me, having an honest and open relationship is important. In fact, dishonesty is the thing that bothers me most about politicians who promise one thing while running for office and who do another once they are elected.

So when I saw a study that says people admitted misleading their significant other a third of the time it surprised me. That means one out of every three things could be a lie!

However, after they got married that number dropped to one in 10. After one in three that sounds good right? But really that would mean women are still lying to their husbands almost every day.

Sometimes a wife may be dishonest because she’s trying to please or placate her husband. I guess that can go both ways. I don’t really want my husband telling me I “look fat in those pants” before we go out. However, since I know how I look I don’t ask!

When you look at the top 4 lies told by wives to their husbands, they aren’t that type of lie — accept for maybe number 2.

Top 4 Lies

  1.  “This dress was on sale” – Lying about money is never a good thing. Hopefully both parties learn to live on a budget and spend within their limitations. As long as you do that, there’s no need to lie! I mean, you don’t want to be like a politician do you? While there’s all kinds of reasons people may lie about this, the fact is they are excuses.
  2. “You have the biggest penis I’ve ever seen” – This one falls within the compassion department, but really why do we have to say we are comparing his size to anybody else? Again, don’t ask; don’t tell!
  3. “I’ve only slept with two men.” – It seems the “average” is closer to 4 but we don’t want our men to think we slept around all that much. According to the study, women tend to minimize the number of sexual partners they’ve had. I guess this could be another compassionate lie, but I’d suggest the past is the past and just leave it there rather than lie about it.
  4. “I don’t want anything for our anniversary.” – If you’re saying you don’t want something for your anniversary and don’t mean it then you certainly can’t get upset with your guy when he believes you! Let him get you something! After all staying married these days is a huge accomplishment! But if you’re on a limited budget, don’t be asking for something like a diamond tennis bracelet. Work together…let him get you something even if it’s little and you’ll make memories together.

The truth is best in the long run because if you lie, over time it can be awful tricky keeping your fictional life straight. Again just look at our politicians!

Photo credits: Personal photo used with permission

Nick Cannon Covers Mariah Tattoo with New Ink

Posted on Oct 14, 2014 by No Comments

Since Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s separation became public, Nick Cannon has found himself in the spotlight.

Everyone wants details, and in a recent interview Cannon admits that he understands that, but finds the way some people judge how you deal with personal life is a little harsh, but that along with that he says he knows it’s what he has signed up for.

Nick Cannon tattoo

Nick Cannons new ink in process

Personally, he deals with it better than most. The separation is not easy, and he admits he’s not the type to ignore people or to say nothing. So that makes him a prime target for reporters digging for the juicy details.

On top of that, he admits it’s hard listening to people dissect his personal life.

I love him as the host of America’s Got Talent…his sense of humor, his interaction with both contestants and judges, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking. But this past season of AGT I could see he was a little troubled, though he covered it well.

In a recent interview with Huffington Post, he put it this way. “I’m not Kanye. I’m not going to be wrestling at the airport. And I’m also not somebody who’s gonna keep silent.”

When Extra asked him how he’d dealing with all of it he said, “I’m just trying to be the best person I can be.” I love that answer. It shows he cares how things are handled and wants to do things the right way for all involved, but at the same time, he’s moving on.

His Mariah tattoo is gone. He used to have a large tat of her name across his back which was actually a wedding present for her. Now that tat is being transformed into a new piece of body art – a crucifixion tattoo.

It’s still in the process, and he was a little upset when paparazzi caught him with his shirt off before it is done. It’s going to take over 40 hours in the chair, plus he’s getting a sleeve done. We’ll have to wait and see what he walks away with.

His kids are currently on tour with Mommy, and Nick says that it is all good. They are in constant contact, and he wishes Mariah all the best.

When the media doesn’t have details, they like to make up stories based on the little they know. Breakups are hard enough. I wish both Nick and Mariah all the best as they try to move forward.

Photo credits: The Talk

Night Owls Have More Sex but Less Likely to Be in a Relationship

Posted on Oct 13, 2014 by No Comments

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

According to the authors of a study out of the University of Chicago, night owls of both sexes are less likely to stay in committed relationships than early birds.

Women who are still working at two in the morning have similar risk taking patterns as men, as well as similar levels of a hormone called cortisol. Generally men have more of this hormone than women but in the case of night owls the cortisol is maintained at similar levels.

Cortisol is associated with stress, arousal, high levels of energy, and cognitive function. Research has indicated that successful  people may have higher levels of cortisol than others, too.

So, it looks like women who stay up late get high quality nooky more often, are more successful, and have excess energy — they’re probably thinner, too. Women who like to catch their Zzzs before midnight have less sex but more secure relationships.

That leaves one category of women that the researchers didn’t account for. What about those of us who have schedules that require us to stay up burning the midnight oil and then get up early in order to juggle all of our responsibilities? What about those of us who are zombies, existing on a frequent intake of caffeine in order to maintain our upright position?

I am guessing we are the ones who are too exhausted to think about sex and choose men who know how to make coffee when considering possible partners.

photo credit: leyla.a via photopin cc

Why Older Couples Are Dispensing with Marriage Vows

Posted on Oct 10, 2014 by 1 Comment

When I met my husband we were both going through divorces after 30 years of marriage. It was kind of weird; we had married within four months of each other and were dealing with divorce papers within the same time period.

I had six kids still at home and he had one. Each of us had unique financial issues, housing issues, and other stuff. Had it not been for our kids and our faith I think we may have chosen to live together permanently rather than get married. There are so many things it might have simplified.

According to some data from the US Census Bureau, the number of couples over 50 that choose to cohabitate rather than marry is on the rise. It increased 550 percent between 1995 and 2013.

There are a lot of reasons for it but one big one is finances, including inheritance issues. Another reason is the hesitancy of the wife to get in another marriage situation.

I know that I fought that some myself.  I just didn’t want to be in a situation where someone was in control of my life to that extent, in control of  finances, and telling me what to do. I was clueless that you could be married and be allowed to make your own decisions about things.

My second marriage has been eye opening in that I am allowed to make my own financial decisions and choices about my life — I even get to have input on things that affect our family. It’s pretty cool.

50 somethings grew up in a time when living together was becoming more acceptable and so we are less likely to worry about how it looks. We are aware, more than other generations I think, that we have choices about what we do and how we do it.

Blending a family is only part of the headache in a second marriage. You have to blend finances, debt, possessions, and even habits. Living together makes a lot of that much easier.

photo credit: garryknight via photopin cc

The Differences between Being a Mom at 30 and a Mom at 50

Posted on Oct 8, 2014 by No Comments

There are a lot of differences between being a mom when you are 30 and a mom when you are 50. I may not have said that quite right — you’re always a mom but I mean the kind that has younger children.

I had my first child at age 22 and my last at age 43. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I am a very different mom in my 50′s than I was in my 30′s. Oh, and that loud AMEN! you are hearing? Yeah, that’s from my older kids who had younger mom.

In my 30′s I was worried what other people would think of my parenting skills. As much as I tried to keep focused on the big picture it wasn’t always that way. Some of my rules were based more on what other people thought was right rather than on my own convictions.

If you don’t know it all ready let me tell you that this is the very worst way to parent your kids. I am blessed that my older kids turned out as well as they have and I am lucky that my common sense won out once in awhile and I adjusted my parenting as soon as I recognized my motives were off.

I was terrified that I would make a mistake and end up with a sociopath serial killer or two. I constantly questioned everything I did and when someone criticized my parenting or my children it devastated me and caused me to become “drill sergeant mom” for a week or two afterwards.

Since I was totally lacking in confidence I would question my decisions and that opened the door to my kids questioning my decisions, especially when they were teens.

Younger parents often see everything that happens as something that needs to be dealt with. When I knew one of the kids was screwing up I would often jump on it without giving them time to work it out on their own.

I demanded that they do things my way and even have my particular set of ethics. I didn’t realize that I was interfering in their ability to learn to think for themselves.

In my 50′s I find that not only do I not care one fig about what people think about me, I don’t care about what they think of my parenting, either. It doesn’t hurt that I have five children over the age of 18 and they are all doing well.

I now see a much bigger picture of how kids grow up, what they need from a parent, and when to stay out of their struggles. I realize that not every act of perceived disobedience needs to be addressed — kids grow out of a lot of things all on their own.

I have learned that if I want my kids to think for themselves I have to allow them to do that unhindered. Giving counsel is not the same as telling someone what to do.

I have learned to accept the fact that they will make mistakes, get hurt, and do things they will regret. More than that, I have to be willing to step back and let them deal with the consequences of their poor decision.

I am a much better parent now and it’s much easier to handle parenting. The most irritating thing that happens is just about the time they are helpful, respectful, kind, clean, and thoughtful they leave home.

The brats.

photo credit: chefranden via photopin cc