Royal watchers were licking their chops at rumors that Kate Middleton was pregnant for the second time. The source of the rumor happened to be Prince William himself. He and Kate are enjoying a visit to New Zealand along with 8-month-old Prince George, and people are eating up every tidbit of news and interaction including one short statement that clearly hinted baby number two may be on the way.
As the royal couple continued their tour this past week, they paid a visit to a war memorial. One British well-wisher who had been commissioned by New Zealand’s government to make a wool shawl for the baby prince took the opportunity to present the gift to Prince William. He thanked her and said that she might need to “make another soon.”
The rumors started flying immediately. The woman who had made the shawl spoke to reporters and said it was “like he was dropping a hint, letting me in on a secret.”
The rumors were further strengthened because, just the day before, Kate happened to choose water instead of wine to make a toast at the unveiling of Queen Elizabeth II’s official portrait at the Government House. Once the hint was dropped, many assumed her avoidance of alcohol to be confirmation that Kate was in fact pregnant.
As fast as William’s remarks sparked the rumor, the Duchess was quick to dispel them. The royal mom attended a winetasting event at Amisfield Vineyard on the following Sunday and let everyone know indirectly but clearly that she is not pregnant. She told the winemakers that she was “really enjoying being able to drink again after having baby George.”
During the event, Kate sipped a glass of white wine, but took sips from Prince William’s glass of red, too. I think they continue to walk the perfect line as royals willing to show a little of who they really are. They will be leaving New Zealand and heading for Australia next, and some say there’s a visit to the zoo in baby George’s near future. I’m sure royal fever is sure to follow.
I think women tend to be intuitive and because of it, they think their families are intuitive as well. I can look at my husband and tell that his blood sugar is high or low. I can tell when one of the kids needs to talk or needs a little pampering in some way. I often, although not always, know what they like, dislike, and what they expect and need from me. It’s my job.
So, when I need something and no one notices, I can get pretty sullen about it if I am not careful. That dangerous, explosive little phrase creeps into my mind — if they loved me they would know what I want.
First of all, that’s not true. Secondly, it is one of the quickest ways there is to kill a relationship of any sort.
No matter how much you hint at something, you can’t always know how the other person is going to take the hint. They might not get it or they might interpret it wrong. You end up being hurt or angry over something that is not your loved one’s fault — you’re expectations. It’s a passive-aggressive behavior and it’s really hard to live with.
I think it comes from a desire to know that someone is so intimately involved with us that they instinctively know how to please us. We think that somehow if we have to ask, it lessens the value of the act in some way.
After years of living with a narcissist, I have learned to ask for what I want and need. I am lucky because my present husband is extremely intuitive and nurturing, so I don’t always have to ask. Still, whether he intuitively does something for me or he does it because I ask, he does these things because he loves me.
Do you tend to expect your family to read your mind.
Intimacy, emotional and sexual, is an important part of any couple’s relationship, but way too often it is the first causality when the honeymoon is over and real life hits. It was especially difficult for my husband and I because we were trying to establish our relationship in the midst of a large family.
When he and I got married, he moved into the chaos of six kids (ages 5-17) who were homeschooled and a wife that worked at home. He had taken a forced early retirement so the eight of us were together all of the time.
My kids were used to my open door policy and having me available anytime they wanted me. My youngest daughter went to sleep cuddling with me every night. It seemed like his ex-wife was constantly on the phone with him no matter what time it was.
In a word? Overwhelming.
We prevailed. We took weekends away, we locked the bedroom door and hung out a do not disturb sign after 11 pm. I transitioned my cuddly child gently into putting herself to sleep after I tucked her in. I have to admit to having fleeting moments of jealousy knowing that my ex was comfortably shacked up with his girlfriend establishing their relationship in a childless house where they could concentrate on each other.
Moments. Very fleeting moments.
There are ways to hang on to, and build, intimacy despite real life. You just have to make them a priority.
You have to plan for it, schedule it, and create an environment where intimacy can thrive. It’s not easy but it can be done.
How do you keep the intimacy in your relationship?
Today’s link round-up has delicious recipes, cute hair clips, DIY storage jars, and more.
Chocolate Covered Katie shared healthy Easter recipes.
Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic talked about one way to deal with kids’ toy messes.
Chocolate and Sunshine shared some Easter basket ideas for big kids.
Designed Décor showed us how to make some cute wall art from a pallet.
Kenarry shared a recipe for creamy garlic parmesan quinoa.
Crafts Unleashed taught us how to make cute storage jars with (or just for) your kids.
I Love to Create showed us how to make hair clips featuring guilty pleasures.
Photo credit: Chocolate Covered Katie and Designed Décor
Today’s link round-up has some cute DIY spring projects, Easter basket ideas, and more.
Designed Décor shared a delicious strawberry pretzel surprise.
Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic stepped out of her nail polish comfort zone to show us some gorgeous new colors.
Chocolate and Sunshine shared some ideas for Easter baskets for adults.
Kenarry showed us some fun ways to color Easter eggs.
A Beautiful Mess taught us how to make a colorful kitchen clock.
Crafts Unleashed created the cutest spring mason jar DIY lamp.
I Love to Create showed us how to make floral puffy paint Easter eggs.
Photo credit: Designed Décor and A Beautiful Mess
None of us can be involved in the break-up of an important relationship and not bring some issues to the table of our next one. It just is one of those things. I honestly didn’t think I had a lot of issues from my first marriage. It was what it was, I made some mistakes, he screwed up royally, and there it was.
Thirty years of memories stuffed into a box at the back of the cabinet.
I was wrong. I have more issues than I can even count. Just when I think I have one conquered, another one pops up in it’s place. I swear to you it’s like playing Whack-a-Mole. Something gets kicked up because my new husband does something reminiscent of the ex. Rather than letting it go, my brain latches on to it and runs with it. All of a sudden there are totally unrelated fears hitting me like a barrage of tiny missiles.
It’s scary and sometimes it feels like the ex is in the midst of my relationship, stirring it up just like he used to.
Well, like me, you are stuck with your past and the wounds and scars from it. With lots of work, they heal eventually but in the meantime it can be tough to get the ex out of the room long enough to enjoy some uninterrupted cuddle time.
The best thing to do is to remind yourself that the situation is in the past and there is no reason to believe it will reoccur. When your mind wanders back to the past, gently direct it back to your oh-so-much-happier present. Keep reminding yourself that things are OK and new. Eventually those thoughts will not be able to mess with you at all.
Today’s link round-up has DIY foundation and gel manicures, an Easter treat, energy bites, and more.
Mommypotamus taught us how to make foundation powder.
How About Cookie talks about the tools you need to create bento boxes.
A Beautiful Mess taught us how to do your own gel manicure at home.
Kitchen Fun with My 3 Sons showed us how to make adorable Reese’s peanut butter cup sunflower pops.
I Should Be Mopping the Floor whipped up some peanut butter and oatmeal energy bites.
Melly Sews showed us how to put together a dry erase placemat to keep the kids entertained.
Honestly WTF taught us how to create a jeweled paracord bracelet.
Photo credit: Mommypotamus and Kitchen Fun with My 3 Sons
I have listened to more than one frustrated person ask me, “Seriously, why doesn’t she leave that idiot husband of hers?”
Over the years I have listened to more than one woman in an abusive relationship make the statement that she can’t afford to leave, she’s afraid to leave, or she just can’t do it for a reason she can’t even put into words.
It’s such a different landscape depending on which side of the door you are on and shaming or coercing your friend into leaving before she is ready is not the way to go.
You have to accept that you (hopefully) will never understand what she is going through and the best thing you can do for her is to be there for her to unload while you listen. It’s such a temptation to give advice, sometimes without even listening to what she is saying. When you do that, you actually are making things worse.
There are some reasons why she doesn’t leave her husband that are common to most women in abusive relationships. Some of these things might not even occur to her until after she is safely out and has gained perspective.
She Can’t Afford It
Not all husbands provide for their families. This is such a shock to some people but there it is. Some husbands make enough money but spend it on themselves and the things that they want, leaving very little left over.
If she has been a stay at home mom for any length of time, she may feel like she has nothing to offer in the workplace. Even if she is working, she may not make enough to comfortably support her children. She may worry that she will not be able to feed them, to clothe them, or she may be concerned about having quality time with them.
If her husband controls the money she may have no credit of her own and may not be able to squirrel enough money away to even get a cheap apartment.
She Is Overwhelmed
Imagine that you have three children and one of them has a condition that takes up your time. Maybe it is autism, Downs, or a serious illness. It doesn’t really matter — you are the caregiver. Now, how do you leave? How can you afford to get the help you need, get your child to appointments and therapies, and juggle a full time job?
Or maybe it is just that she has been told for years she is inept, incapable, or whatever. It is almost impossible to step out of a situation if you don’t have the confidence you can make it.
She Is Afraid
If there has been any kind of abuse she may be afraid that there will be retaliation, that her or her children’s lives may be in danger, or even that she will not get to keep her children at all.
She Hopes Things Will Change
No one wants to be divorced. It is hard to leave a marriage at any point but more so when it is long term. Some women hold on to hope the he will change, often for years.
First of all, please understand that she doesn’t allow herself to be treated that way. She is victimized and depending on what is going on and how long it has been happening she may not realize that she is being treated badly or, she may realize it and believe it is her fault, or she may just be in a brain fog from being in survival mode a long time and not even know what her own emotions and desires are.
If her husband has been very controlling, she is easily manipulated by your words and the last thing she needs is to have another person manipulating and coercing. Listen to her, affirm her, and cheer on each small step she takes toward distancing herself from abuse.
If you suspect there is physical violence going on, take the initiative to talk to someone at one of the domestic violence hotlines and find out what they recommend. Here’s the national number (USA) - National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
Today’s link round-up has delicious treats, makeovers for your dresser and your shoes, emotion detox, and more.
Craftaholics Anonymous taught us how to make a modern leather planter.
Pink So Foxy showed us how to give a boring dresser a fabulous makeover.
Mind Body Green taught us about seven emotions that don’t serve us and how to detox them.
Cupcakes and Cashmere shared a recipe for a pretzel s’more crunch bar.
A Subtle Revelry showed us how to make a watermelon cake.
Love, Maegan taught us how to liven up an old pair of pumps.
Chocolate Covered Katie shared a recipe for healthy tiramisu.
Photo credit: Craftaholics Anonymous and Cupcakes and Cashmere