I was talking, or rather whining, to someone the other day about how guilty I feel all the darn time.
I feel guilty because my house isn’t clean (it did used to be, I promise!). I feel guilty because I am not homeschooling anymore (my schedule is grueling). I feel guilty because when my husband gets home we both want to be pampered because we’re tired and neither of us has the energy to do any pampering most of the time.
I feel guilty because I think the ex got the best me — the energetic, young, thin me who lived and breathed to fix his meal and make him happy. My husband doesn’t get those kinds of perks. Hungry? I am on deadline. Get it yourself.
I feel guilty.
When I shut up, my friend began to tell me about how she felt. You won’t be surprised that she mostly feels the same way I do about things and guilt is tearing her apart, too. We were silent for a bit. I mean, what can you say to that?
Prior to the 1950s, I don’t think women had much guilt. Television was limited and Pinterest hadn’t been invented yet.
Then came the 60s where women had to be able to see themselves in their dishes, the 70s where we needed to bring home the bacon and fry it, and now, in the 21st century, we are subjected to perfect women, with perfect homes, who create perfect meals and crafts to pin to Pinterest. It’s impossible not to feel guilty.
So, you know what? Maybe we should just accept that we are going to feel guilty no matter what and move on, guilt and all. What do you think?
I keep reading articles about how to spice up your sex life because you never know when you are going to need to know how to properly tie a BDSM gag, right?
I find the articles amusing because they either list stuff that you already know and 5,000 other articles have said the exact same thing or they list stuff that a lot of us don’t have the energy for.
We have jobs, kids, houses to clean, and playdates to go to. When we get home we do not have enough caffeine in the house to make us want to don a black leather corset and play You’ve Been a Very Bad Boy.
Which leads to my next point. How do you jog through the house in a shelf bra and garter belt without the kids making gagging noises and telling their teachers at school that they are being passively sexually abused?
The entire answer to really awesome, really hot, married sex is simple. You don’t need 10 ideas, positions that turn you into a pretzel, or even a black corset. Those things are add-ons. What you need is simply to get rid of the kids.
I think more couples have boring sex lives because of their kids than any other reason. You have to be quiet. If the bed starts to squeak you have to try to find a quieter position and you are constantly listening for someone to knock at the door and ask what you’re doing.
Rather than making a list of things to do you are better off to make a list of places to go. Trade babysitting, go away for an occasional weekend, or find other ways to get at least one night to yourselves once a month or so. Yeah, you’ve heard it before but it’s a lot more doable than squeezing into a fishnet catsuit.
photo credit: Clear Frost
Today’s link round-up has tips for removing rust from the shower, how to create an acorn frame, a cute turkey crayon caddy, a Thanksgiving centerpiece, and more.
Crafts by Amanda showed us how to make an acorn frame.
Mind Body Green shared the secret to finding unlimited happiness in a relationship.
Create Craft Love taught us how to make a turkey crayon caddy for Thanksgiving.
I Heart Nap Time showed us how to make an easy Thanksgiving centerpiece.
Crafty Journal showed us how to remove rust from the shower.
I Should Be Mopping the Floor shared a recipe for pumpkin and pecan blondies.
Muslin and Merlot taught us how to make something cute for trick-or-treaters—a candy wheel of fortune.
Photo credit: Crafts by Amanda and I Heart Nap Time
If you ever wondered if opposites really do attract I can tell you for sure that they do, especially when it comes to the thermostat. The cold war of the mid 2oth century has nothing on the hot and cold war at my house.
I had my thyroid gland removed and am on medication. The medication isn’t as good as your own natural thyroid, which regulates things like metabolism and tolerance to cold. I tend to be cold a lot and I like that feeling of baking out in the sun.
My husband, on the other hand, has Type 1 Diabetes. This means that when his blood sugar is goofed up he is uncomfortably hot — he’s almost always warmer than I am.
Except when he’s not.
For some stupid reason known only to the universe, there are times when he is freezing and I am burning up. The crazy thing is that we are never comfortable at the same time. Never.
We don’t battle over it. I think mostly we try to accommodate the each other — the one that is the most uncomfortable (or grumpiest) gets it their way. Psychology Today has an article about how things can get pretty violent and why.
It seems that people feel that they have an unalienable right to control their environment and comfort level. Psychologically, it’s important for people to be able to control their comfort level. The article suggests that the workplace will even be more efficient if you give people the freedom to have their own, special fans and mini heaters.
I find that smacking someone on the hand with a spoon when it gets too close to the thermostat is also an excellent way to control your environment.
Today’s link round-up has steps for getting started exercising, a mug cake, how to keep your rhinestone jewelry in good shape, and more.
Chocolate Covered Katie shared a delicious mug cake recipe.
Mind Body Green has six basic steps to get started exercising.
A Beautiful Mess showed us how to make a collapsible play house.
Kenarry shared a Halloween jack-o-lantern craft.
Hungry Happenings showed us how to make three cheese calzone pumpkins.
Creative Khadija taught us how to keep our rhinestone jewelry in good shape with Mod Podge.
Life a Little Brighter talked about a lesson that was hard to learn.
Photo credit: Chocolate Covered Katie and Kenarry
You come across the oddest things on the Internet.
Last night I was reading a site, in the chat area, and I found an entire discussion about a woman whose husband got fired because she sent pictures of her naked boobies to him on his own, personal phone, while he was at work – on break. A co-worker happened to catch a glimpse and reported him for looking at porn so he got fired.
I never even thought about that. It never even crossed my mind that someone could get fired for looking at their spouse’s naughty bit on their own phone on their own time. I just think that’s a little crazy. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
The other women on the site really started attacking her for sending the picture in the first place and that was what I found to be the weirdest thing of all. So apparently sending each other risque images throughout the day is not a responsible, mature adult activity.
I guess one of the things that weirded me out was that in a society where we watch television shows that would have been R rated when I was a young adult, a society where sex is a more common conversation than the last book you read — unless it was about sex — and where porn is increasingly considered a “couples activity” people get downright snippy about a woman sending a boob shot to her man.
So, if you happen to be one of those uncontrolled hussies who tempts her husband during the daylight hours with provocative imagery the you might want to double check what the company’s policy on porn is.
What do you think? Should he have gotten fired or maybe just a warning? He was, after all, on break.
Today’s link round-up has easy meals, cute Halloween cookies, spider earrings, and more.
Muslin and Merlot showed us how to make PVC napkin rings.
Mind Body Green shared six one-pan meals to make this week.
Hungry Happenings made some cute backside black cat cookies and shared the recipe.
Chocolate Covered Katie shared a recipe for pumpkin mac and cheese.
Jewelry Making Journal taught us how to make creepy crawly spider earrings.
Life a Little Brighter asked, “Are you stressing your kid out?”
Play Dates on Fridays shared five excuses for mean girls that have got to go.
Photo credit: Muslin and Merlot and Chocolate Covered Katie
For decades I was a stay at home mom. I homeschooled, I cleaned, I cooked, I did laundry, and, in keeping with my Little House on the Prairie fantasies, I even fed chickens and milked goats.
When life changed abruptly, then in a very short period of time changed abruptly twice more, I was thrown into a chaotic life which required that I give up Green Acres to be Murphy Brown. If you are too young for all of the TV references you can Google them.
Some days are better than others. I do like what I do for a living, I enjoy the blessings and opportunities that my new life has afforded me. Still, once in awhile (every day) there are a few moments when I really miss being a stay at home mom.
If you have made the transition from being a stay at home mom to being a gainfully employed mom what do you miss most?
According to new research, social media plays a big part in ruined relationships. A study, authored by Russsel Clayton of the University of Missouri, surveyed 581 Twitter users and found that Twitter causes conflict in a relationship, infidelity, and even divorce.
Once again the experts give human-kind an excuse for their behavior. Maybe we should consider banning social media so that people’s relationships can stay intact?
My first marriage more or less exploded when my ex reconnected with his high school girlfriend on Facebook. They made it sound very romantic in their various Facebook posts and eventual wedding page but when you consider the bare bones facts, it was just another case of infidelity. Nothing special.
Oddly enough I feel no ill will toward Facebook or Twitter and, as a matter of fact, I use both of them regularly. Here’s the shocker, though — in all of the years that I have been using social media I have not once cheated, or even been tempted to cheat!
Can you believe it?
You can blame social media all you want, you can run all kinds of research, but when it comes down to bare bones facts the truth remains obvious. Cheaters gonna cheat.
I just think it’s time that we stopped trying to find excuses for our behavior and just admit that we are human and we screw up royally, make bad choices, and do cruel things just because we can. Deciding that social media is the bad guy here is just another way of not having to deal with the real problem.