The first day of school is in just a few days. I wonâ€™t lie; I am a little but saddened by it all. Kindergarten has snuck up on me like a thief in the night. Somehow, while we were busy living our day-to-day, my baby has grown into a kindergartner. The letting go is in full swing.
The backpack is bought and the lunch box, too. All the school supplies are packed and ready to go and tomorrow we take our littlest girl to meet her kindergarten teacher.
My mommy heart is a little weary at the very thought of leaving my baby away from me for 6-hours a day. What will I do with myself? My last baby is starting her first day of full day kindergarten.
Dear sweet baby kindergartner,
The truth is that it has all gone by way too fast. Wasnâ€™t it just yesterday that we heard your heartbeat for the first time? Wasn’t it just a couple of hours ago that I was changing your diapers? Didnâ€™t you just hold out your arms and call me Mama this morning? I want to hold you in those moments for just a little while longer.
There is so much change coming. I remember this part. This is where my forced letting go begins. This is where you begin growing up. This is where your independence begins. I am so proud of you. You will take kindergarten by storm. You are fearless. You are amazing in ways that you cannot fathom.
I am sitting here typing through tear filled eyes because I know where this road ends. A parent’s job is to raise children that make the world a better place, to be humans that we wish we could be more like, to fulfill their potential and exhaust their dreams. I will be your biggest cheerleader, no matter where your passions may lead and I will always be here when you need to come home. My heart will ache, it may even break, bursting with pride and love for you, my baby girl. Be patient with me.
We begin a new chapter. Your first day of kindergarten will be one of the hardest mornings of my life but you will never know this. I will not cry in front of you and I promise to keep my collapsing in a pool of snot and tears out of your line of sight. I am sad for the letting go but glad to have had you to myself for these first five years, my sweet little girl.
I love you more than you will ever fully know. Someday, when you have a child of your own, you will know why I hugged you just a little longer than I should have when I dropped you on your first day of kindergarten. You will understand why I lingered just a little in the doorway before saying goodbye.
How did you deal with the letting go? Does it ever get easier? What helps you get over that missing my baby hump? Or worse, how do I get over this giant lump in my throat? How did you deal with the first day of kindergarten?
Photo Source: The TRUTH about Motherhood