Here’s something that my husband and I struggle with amidst the chaos of raising three children aged four and under: showing our love on a day-to-day basis. On his way out the door to work, he kisses the kids and we have to remember to kiss each other! It’s not because we don’t love each other anymore; it’s just because our relationship seems to always take a backseat to the kids’ needs. I’ve written lots here at Smart Mom Style about how to keep your relationship alive, and maybe I need to take my own advice!
After marriage, we inevitably settle into a routine and might feel like we are taken for granted. Don’t let another day go by like that!Ã‚Â Here are some ideas that I really like that don’t take any time at all, and would make a big impact on your relationship.
Think About HOW Your Partner Likes To Be Loved
This sounds weird, I know. But does your spouse want to hear the words? Would he rather have you do something unexpected for him (for example a chore?). Does he like to find little hidden gifts in his briefcase or car, or does he like to be touched? Think about how he wants to be loved and then make an effort to do that for him everyday.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Remember that actions speak louder your words ever can. While it’s nice to hear “I love you,” it’s nice to see and feel it, too. For example, if you weed the garden (if that’s usually his job) and he asks why simply say, “I just wanted you to know that I love and appreciate you.”
Or maybe make his favorite dinner, just because.
A friend of mine told me to say something sweet like, “I think about you during the day when things get crazy. When I do, I smile.” I could see how much he appreciated it and just that look brought us closer together.
When You Spend Time Together, BE PRESENT
I am horrible, absolutely horrible about this one. I’ll be talking to him, making dinner, and trying to write on the computer all at the same time. This would make me crazy if he did it to me!
Turn off the phone, the TV, (and in my case) the computer, and sit together. Talk, laugh, hold hands…just be present with each other. It’s amazing how much doing so little can do!
I’ve been making a conscious effort to be more aware of our day-to-day relationship; a quick squeeze of the hand or hug on the way out of the room is an easy way to say, “I still love you among all this craziness.” I think the hardest part of all of this is to remember to do it! Slow down; think back to the giddiness of those first days of love…heck, if you need to, set a reminder on your phone to do something kind for your partner, call him and say hello, or shoot him a quick text to say you love him!
How do you show your love for your spouse on a day-to-day basis?
Photo Source: Danielle Elder